Self (de)centered Love

For millennia Christians the world over have been intentional about their focus during the 40 days leading up to Resurrection Sunday (Easter). At First Loved we have built our whole ministry around a particular daily focus that benefits all people all year around. The first thing

you hear when you do anything with First Loved is that we are convinced that the heart of the Gospel is “Loving the Jesus Way.” By that we mean, that loving as loved, by the Spirit, to reveal God, is what Jesus was focused on every day of his life: throughout his ministry, at his trial, his sentencing, his crucifixion, as he died, and when he rose and ascended. That being loved and loving as he had been loved was what Jesus was doing before the creation of the world (John 17:24), and what we were made to join in on when the Trinity said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” (Genesis 1:26, NLT) To be made in the image and likeness of God is to enter into the goodness of their love and to love as we have been loved first. This is what Jesus did, and what we are called to do, to become imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love just as Christ did first (Ephesians 5:1-2). 

To do this we must be loved first (1 John 4:19), we must experience the goodness of God’s love first. As the saying goes, we cannot give away what we have not first received. And yet - throughout the decades that First Loved Ministries has been sharing this message we have time and again been told that to focus on being loved first is inappropriate, and frankly, just wrong, because it’s self-centered. 

To claim that being loved first is self-centered is, honestly, a bit baffling to me. I’m afraid it reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of our human-ness and our relationship to God and one another. You see, being loved first requires us to humbly admit that we are not the center, that we are not the source of love. That in and by our own means we are limited, finite, desperately insufficient. Now, don’t hear that admission as a self-deprecating “woe is me.” Instead let it be an honest assessment of our unique human capacity. I on my own cannot bear the weight of the world’s grief; I on my own cannot mend the world's brokenness; I on my own cannot absolve the debt we owe one another from the enormity of harm we have caused each other. If I were the center I, and everyone else, would be in big trouble. 

So I praise the God of all creation because I am not the center! I join in with David who sang:

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 

who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

(Psalm 103:1-5)

Being loved first allows me to orient myself toward the center - toward the God who is love! When I stop and de-center myself, I can see clearly and meditate on all the ‘benefits’ or 'expressions of love' that God offers me and everyone else. When I am focused on this Love, I cannot not receive forgiveness, because I am utterly aware of how badly I need it. When I am focused on this Love, I say yes please to redemption, because when I am looking up at the center I realize I am in the pit and I need all the help I can get. When I am focused on this Love, I can revel in the truth that there is nothing I can say or do (or avoid saying or doing) to earn the crown of compassion or the good things that satisfy - I can only receive them as the overwhelming gifts of love that they are. 

Being loved first is the antidote to being self-centered! So in this Lenten season, we invite you to stop and let yourself be loved first. Hear the words of the psalm first person from the one who is Love: 

Beloved, [insert your name here], do not forget the benefits of my love-

I am the one who forgives all harm you cause and heal all that which harms you.

I am the one who redeems you from the hole you dug yourself into, and it is my delight to clean you up, wipe your tears, and lift your head high for the crown of my compassion.

I am the one who knows what you need and fills you with good things, satisfying the longings of your heart and putting the spring back in your step so that you can enjoy my goodness!